Been awhile

It's been awhile since I was last on here. I kinda miss the feeling of just typing whatever comes into my head at an instant, the past few months I've been thinking about every little thing I'm gonna say or do that I feel like I'm not myself anymore so I missed this. It seems like I'm always trying to please someone, like I can't be myself because I wanna be better. And I can't help it there's like something telling me that "act first think later" is no longer an acceptable manner of thinking. I hope it doesn't come with the fact that I'm growing up, because if that's the case I don't ever wanna grow up, there'd be no adventure. Just the same thing everyday. That's why I changed my major the other day, I cant stay in a classroom and teach for my whole life, So i changed it to art, art I can do wherever, whenever, however, i please. So I'm pretty sure I saved my state of mind by doing it. wanna know why? Cause I didn't think about the aftermath of me changing my major, I just did it, and I feel absolutely amazing about it, it's definitely the best decision I've made for myself in the past few months, I also found this website called oneword.com where it gives you a word and you have 60 seconds to write about it, you don't sit around and think about what to write about, you just do it as you go, and I love that. So that's why. I told my girlfriend I was on oneword.com and told her what it was. And you know what? She called it lame. What the fuck? The fact that that she doesn't like the fact of just acting before thinking just blew my mind. How the fuck can someone plan out their whole fucking life and be content with that? Where's the adventure? where's the surprise? Where's the enjoyment? We are not calenders. We are not a schedule. We are perfectly capable people who should be able to just "do."